Oh the suspense of the last eight weeks!

Here’s a quick recap for those of you with busy lives who want the quick-and-dirty: I just started running again about three weeks ago after five weeks of no running at all. I’ve withdrawn from the Half Iron and registered for the Marine Corp Marathon. (I'll still be going to the Mooseman Half-Iron to cheer for and support my friends/bloggers.)

Ultimately, I’m not meant to race in the month of June. Out of the past four years, I’ve planned three different June races and had to scratch each one off the list for one reason or another.

The first lesson from this story: recognize a pattern and learn from it. Note to self: no more BIG races in June (I'll bet I said this last June too).

Second lesson from this story: it takes an incredible amount of energy, motivation and will-power to start a new career and simultaneously train for a triathlon while rehabbing from an injury.

Honestly, when I embarked on this journey towards the Half Iron, I thought that it would be a good way to keep my spirits up over the long winter and serve as something positive to focus on. However, it seems that a few things went awry:

1) I didn’t factor in how exhausted I would feel during the first few months of working as a physical therapist assistant. I took for granted how much ‘rest’ I was getting at my previous desk-job…all that sitting, drinking water and eating while sitting down - I had no idea that would be a luxury in my new career! Being on my feet all day, talking to people constantly, manipulating body parts and *gasp* THINKING…well, it just leaves me wiped out.

2) I thought I would be working in a town that had easier access to a swimming pool. I envisioned myself stopping for a swim on the way to work or on the way home. That did not turn out to be true. I thought I could at least make it to a 8:00 pm swim class twice a week. That also did not turn out to be true…going back out in the winter weather to go swimming at night, and then being totally WIRED for hours afterwards? Not. Fun. I’d walk into work like a zombie the next morning. I dreaded going to the pool.

3) I certainly didn’t factor in a five-weeks-no-running injury. It didn’t just take a toll on my training plan, it also took a toll on my confidence and mental well-being. I define myself as a RUNNER first, a CYCLIST second and I only swim because I have to. Taking ‘running’ out of the equation just sent me into a downward spiral which led to a endless circle of no motivation, missed workouts and massive guilt (lather, rinse, repeat).

There you have it - the excuses, the rationale, the reasons. It was tough to admit I couldn’t pull it together AGAIN, but as I’ve said before, there are often more lessons to be learned in failing than there are in succeeding.

Therefore rather than focus all on ME for my next race, I’m helping a friend reach her Boston Qualifying time at the Marine Corp Marathon. Back in 2006-2007 when I reached that goal through the help of others, I promised myself that I would ‘pay it forward’ someday and help someone else achieve their dream. Back to running, back to my roots and it's time to turn the focus outwards rather than in. Onward.